I wonder to myself how the city lights could ever attract someone so greatly. Still, I yearn for the amber glow of the traffic lights and the way they back light your face. I miss your smile and the fact that I have never truly seen it makes no difference to me. I see you clearly in my dreams. The way you touch my face with such patience and caress my skin with your fingertips. The softness of your lips makes the small hairs on every inch of my body stand with delight. You are my weakness and I don’t even know you. You are so wonderful in your very own way. Simple.

Recently a friend of mine told me that after knowing me for so many years I still surprise him with random things that he never knew about me. So here are a few things that some of you might or might not know about me.

I thrive on change. Fear boredom. Love cheese but don’t eat it very often. My parents have been married for 30 years and they are still head over heels for each other. I LOVE Sushi. I don’t see myself buying a home anytime soon. I want to travel the world and believe I will. I love being in love. Dislike using the word “hate”. Quote movies too much. I lose myself in music, it’s my haven. Music is a BIG part of my life, I can’t live without it. I can’t stand cocky people. I’m forgetfull. I love the smell of babies. Lotus is my favorite flower. I’m attracted to guys with tattooes. I have OCD’s that are small enough that most people don’t notice. I love staying up late but enjoy even more sleeping in. I’m horrible at calling people back. I wish unicorns and mermaids were real. At one point I wanted to be a trucker. I’m obsessed with my iPod. I don’t get upset easily. I laugh when I’m nervous. Only my close friends appreciate and accept my randomness. I love sand between my toes and salty hair. I’ve been in 6 car accidents. I have the smartest and most amazing niece in the world. I’ve had my heart broken a couple times and I’m glad it happened. I think everyone should have their heart broken at least once in their lives. I would like to work at a toll booth. I’m addicted to chewing on ice (and no, it’s not sexual frustration). I spend too much time daydreaming. I don’t live in “what if’s”. I spent 6 weeks backpacking in Europe. I’ve never broken a bone in my life and not until last year did I ever need stiches. I dislike people that are judgmental and try my hardest to not be like that. I bought my first car at the age of 20 all by myself. I don’t have the best relationship with my sister but we love each other to death and would do anything for each other. I once put salt on a slug, and regret that. I like rice cakes. I have an infatuation with Coconut Lime Verbena. I went to a private catholic school for most of my life and loved it. I believe that no matter where I am God will always be with me. I have a tattoo and am planning on getting a second one. I gave myself a black eye once, named it Leroy, and loved it. I can burp better than most guys. When I sneeze I sound like a mouse. I still pray everynight before going to sleep. My dad is my best friend. I can be very impatient. I love kids and want to work with them. I’m not afraid of death. The best present I have ever gotten was a pupa. I sing at the top of my lungs in my car and don’t care who sees me.

Ok, I’m going to take a break. Stay tuned, there’s more.

Its funny. You can go from being really good friends with someone for a long time and talking everyday to suddenly not speaking for a few days, then a week, and then the next thing you know–you’re not really friends anymore. It’s awkward when you talk on the phone or try to hang out. So you hang out less often, until you just stop hanging out all together.You talk each other on myspace and say you’ll get together some day for drinks or lunch or something, but both of you know it won’t happen. I know people change, but how do some people remain your friends through the years, and others you just lose contact with?

How can you stop this from happening when you see it starting with a friend? Someone who you talked to everyday suddenly stops returning your calls and stops hanging out…what do you do? Do you just let them go or fight for the friendship?

So HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

WHO WANTS TO BE MY VALENTINES?? I’m taking volunteers!! lol

This week has been like a trainwreck of emotions! Especially today; I woke up and had a million things to do: drop off the keys at work, go to the doctors, go to the bank, finish packing (by myself), wait for the movers (who are running 3 hrs late). I am excited to move, but the whole process of moving fucking sucks! I think the last two weeks have been the most stressful two weeks of my life. I’m sad to leave family and friends, but I feel it is my time to go.

I break into tears randomly and for no real reason what-so-ever, and can’t seem to make myself stop. If I talk to you, and I seem upset or weird–it’s not you or anything you did or said–it’s just me trying to deal with everything. I just need to breathe……and I need a drink.

step one: put your music player on shuffle
step two: type out your favorite lyrics from the first 15 songs
step three: post in blog
step four: have people that read your blog guess the names of the songs

1. I knew I hadn’t met my match, but every moment we could snatch. I don’t know why I got so attached.

2. I think I know it all, but can I be sure of the things I’ve grown to know, and can I say I know it all, when rules just guide me to blindly follow.

3. She’s the symbol of resistance and she’s holding on my heart like a hand grenade.

4. But she just couldn’t stay. She had to break away. Well New York City really has it all.

5. So I sit and wait and wonder, “Does anyone else feel like me?” I’m so over-dosed on apathy and burnt out on sympathy.

6. ‘Twas more than I could take, pity for pity’s sake. Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger. When you gonna realize, that you don’t even have to try any longer? Do what you want to.

7. Oh the day was dying and the wind was sighing. As I lay there crying in my prison cell.

8. And I’ll sit and wonder of every love that could’ve been if I’d only thought of something charming to say.

9. There’s no blame for how our love did slowly fade, and now that it’s gone it’s like it wasn’t there at all, and here I rest where disappointment and regret collide lying awake at night.

10. I get a kick every time I see you standing there before me. I get a kick though it’s clear to me that you obviously do not adore me.

11. But sometimes I still think of you, and I just wanted to, just wanted you to know my old friend…I swear I never meant for this.

12. Envy and its evil twin; it crept in bed with slander.

13. I think about ya all the time; you’re so addictive.

14. One last 80 proof, slouching in the corner booth. Baby, it’s as good as it gets.

15. Both under influence, we had demons in to know what to say mind is a razorblade.

Sometimes I just wonder. I like to just sit and wonder. Although I think I do it way to much. It’s not day dreaming, it’s wondering. You know, when you are in awe of something, you wonder; or if you are speculating about something, your wondering. I do it a lot, about a lot of things. So i guess really, its not just sometimes, its a lot. I wonder what it would be like if I didn’t wonder so much……..